It’s new years resolution time. I have a friend who’s resolution was to work on forgiveness. Specifically he put “that forgiveness isn’t about saying what was done to you was “ok”, it’s about letting yourself release the need to punish. I’m still working on it, and it’s not easy.”
I’ve spent a lot of time on forgiveness. I like what Vishen Lakhiani says about forgiveness is his 6 phase meditation [1] [2] series. It’s a free course and I'd encourage you to take it but to paraphrase my understanding of the Forgiveness section is that it’s not about saying that what the person did was ok, it’s about choosing not to spend energetic currency on it any more.
I mentioned the above to him and he said that he doesn't think he spends energetic currency on the people he needs to forgive because he doesn't actively think about it. I can't speak for him so I'll speak for myself in that just because I'm not actively thinking about a situation or person doesn't mean I don't have my own energetic currency tied up into the situation. My take on the subject is it this; if you haven't cleared the issue it’s still holding some of your energetic currency. If you are judging new situations based on that old situation you are trying to forgive you still have energetic currency tied up in that person/situation. You don't have to be actively thinking or worrying about a person/situation for it to be weighing on you energetically. If the result of that interaction affects all current and future interactions you still have energetic currency tied up in that person/situation.
As a personal example. I had a girlfriend in high school that cheated on me with most of my friends. She textbook lied and cheated and people i thought were my friends had sex with her while we were dating. This person forever altered my trust of people (especially women). It’s an issue I'm still working through to this day. It’s incredibly difficult for me to get to FULLY trust someone even though on some level I realize and acknowledge this other person IS NOT that person. I still brace for impact or don't fully let another person in to prevent the hurt.
How do you forgive. Well the 6 phase meditation is a start. For me, when these issues come up it’s self Reiki time or Reiki with my healer to bring this person up to the service and use Reiki or IET to help release the emotions and hurt with the subject. In the end when someone hurts us it’s generally not us, it’s them, they have issues and they felt that hurting you was a way to make them feel better. As I wrote this post I was reminded of that girlfriend's home life, relationship with her parents and her life up to that point. It wasn't great to say the least. I can definitely see (Now) how those deficiencies in her life could be attempted to be filled through sex or hurting other people.
That being said it does us no good to carry those feelings and emotions with us once we are ready to let them go. As the info-graphic linked above says; “Know that at a deeper level we are one, and any negative charge towards any other living person is a charge against yourself.”
What are you ready to let go of?
